Yeah, I know – I’m horrible about keeping things updated around here. It was either a lack of inspiration, time, or desire. It’s not that there hasn’t been enough going on in my life to warrant an update, but the act of wrenching the thoughts out of your head and committing them to paper – or in this case, electronic imaginary paper – makes things much more definite.
Let’s see.. last we left off, I was talking about heading up to Michigan to see my best friend. Had a blast – got to spend time with her and her new guy, who gets my seal of approval. She’s happy, he treats her right, and in the end that’s all that really matters. Met some new folks – fell in lust with one gal, but as my luck would have it she was taken – story of my life 
Got seriously sunburned on the floating trip, which made the flight home lots of fun. Since then… it all kind of blends together. Did a superhero pub crawl in Austin dressed as the Comedian from Watchman – got some great ideas on how to make the costume a lot better for Halloween. It’s been nuclear hot here in Texas, so venturing outdoors has been limited.
Work-wise, looks like I’m moving to first shift soon, though honestly it doesn’t really feel like a victory in a “I finally made it” kind of way, but more of a “we really don’t have anyone else in the position and no time to hire/train someone, so I guess you’ll do” way. I guess I can blame that ho-hum attitude on having applied for the position 3 times and not getting it. The odd part is, having worked the shift on a trial basis, I really missed the 2nd shift crew. It’s like I finally got things settled down and we really clicked as a team, and now I’m messing that up. The practical side of me knows that given the chance either guy on the team would leave for a different team/shift if it suited their career advancement or desire so I should too, but I guess in the last few months I’ve been lacking a sort of stability.
I can understand relationships – be they friends, lovers, co-workers, etc – dissolving because people just don’t get along and such.. but lately it’s like people are just fading from my life. I look at my phone contact list and realize that some of the people on there have not spoken to me in months or years, people I considered close and dear friends have drifted off without so much a goodbye… and I know I’m to blame as well. We all get caught up in our lives – it’s easier to deal with life in the moment than something out of sight and mind. And it makes me realize – if someone can slip out of your life that easily, they weren’t a major part of it to begin with in the first place. Whether it’s your fault for believing you were closer or theirs for so easily leaving you behind – life seems to be a never-ending parade of people who come into your life and then go on their own way.
The hard part I’ve found is not letting that sort of thing affect you, and I’ll admit lately I haven’t been doing a great job of that. You get tired and jaded of putting yourself out there only to be rebuked, so eventually you just stop trying. Probably a sign I just need to stop thinking about it, over-analyzing things, and just enjoy living in the moment. When you have no expectations, it’s a lot more difficult to be disappointed.